How to Fire A Narcissistic Parent Without Setting the House on Fire

Understanding the Incomprehensible

By Anita, your favorite Sh*t Shifter

You weren’t born to be a mirror.
You weren’t born to be an echo.
And you sure as hell weren’t born to be someone’s emotional mop, gold-star collector, or applause machine.

But if you grew up with a narcissistic parent—or married one—you’ve probably been all of the above… while quietly wondering why “love” always felt like walking on hot coals in bare feet and was SO confusing.

Let’s be clear: this isn’t some soft-focus family-values sermon about “doing your best.” This is a wake-up call for your nervous system, your adult boundaries, and the sacred act of finally letting the phone ring when they want to pick a fight you didn’t schedule and fights you’ll never win.

Let’s talk about narcissistic parenting—and what it really means to cut ties with the self-centered circus ringleaders who raised (or married) you. If you’re struggling with this in your marriage, stay tuned for the next edition.

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Narcissistic Parenting 101: It's Not About You (But They’ll Make It Seem Like It ALWAYS Is)

According to psychologist and author Dr. Craig Malkin (and echoed in this HuffPost article), narcissistic parents don’t raise children—they raise reflections. Think: human ventriloquist dolls. Your role? Reflect their greatness, boost their ego, never outshine them (unless they can take credit), and keep the family performance polished and presentable.

Sound familiar?

A narcissistic parent doesn’t say, “I’m proud of who you are.”
They say, “You should be proud of me for raising you.”

Even when you’re an adult.
Especially when you’re an adult.

They demand loyalty at the cost of your authenticity, obedience at the cost of your mental health, and praise as the price of peace. You might be 43 with a mortgage and a therapist, but they’ll still find ways to make your boundaries feel like betrayal.

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